1. Uber has invested $23.4 million to build flying taxis in France. If successful, Uber is requesting the country of France to repay the company in fresh croissants.
2. WeWork opened an elementary school, called WeGrow, which teaches math, science, yoga, farming, and gentrification.
3. A Florida woman brought meth to her doctor’s office to have it tested for purity, then admitted to using if for a month. After a few hits on a glass pipe, the doctor confirmed that the substance was indeed meth.
4. Connecticut’s Department of Consumer Protection lost $300,000 dollars' worth of equipment that taxpayers bought during a move to a different building. The department is blaming it on its knucklehead friends that helped it move.
5. In Florida, a raccoon got a soup can stuck on its head. The soup can was found to be from the brand Wolfgang Stuck.
6. More than 20,000 Comcast customers in Massachusetts may be getting a check as the company agrees to settle allegations of deceptive advertising. Customers were told they would be provided intriguing thought-provoking television shows but were actually provided 200 channels of grown adults judging each other based on clothing, voice quality, or dancing ability.
7. BenShot, a Wsconsin glassmaking company, gave all their employees handguns for Christmas. Bullets will be distributed to the employees based on their end of the year review.
8. A Minnesota family welcomed a baby girl born on 11/11 at 11:11 PM. The family has narrowed the choice of names to Millie, Bobby, or Brown.
9. A Santa Ana McDonald’s manager was beaten and choked by a woman who was upset over missing ketchup packets. Police have their fingers crossed that the woman received all of 20 of her chicken nuggets.
10. Two employees from Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport’s environmental team found two bone fossils believed to be more than 11,000-years-old, just in time for Thanksgiving soup.
11. A feud over Campbell’s Soup future could break up the 149-year old company. The feud is based on the age-old question of “Chicken noodle or chicken and stars?”
12. Kellogg may say goodbye to Famous Amos and Keebler cookies so it can focus on “core” parts of the company like poisoning the youth by putting carcinogens in breakfast food.
13. For 10 years, a chemical not EPA approved called HaloSan, was put into a South Carolina city’s drinking water. Luckily the addition of the chemical to the water was stopped before anyone had to say ByeSon.
14. Vancouver police are searching for the owner of an urn that was left at Goodwill. According to Goodwill the company only wants dead fashion styles, not the actual dead.