1. In Atlanta, a passenger carried a firearm through TSA screening onto a Delta flight and had no problems getting the window seat. #tsa #delta
2. Los Angeles teachers are on strike, forcing 600,000 students to get a poor education without the help of the teachers. #teachers #strike
3. According to the National Safety Council, the odds of dying from accidental opioid overdose in the US surpassed those of dying in a car accident, but neither have surpassed the odds of forgetting where you put your keys. #overdose
4. This past week, a Pennsylvania man smashed a display case to steal an Xbox One from Walmart, but later returned it when he realized it wasn’t a PS4. #xobox #ps4
5. A Wisconsin boy is a globally renowned crochet prodigy at age 11. He plans on dedicating the rest of his life to crocheting clothing that nobody wants. #crochet
6. The country of Turkey is seeking a warrant for a Knick’s basketball player for possibly being part of a terror organization, which is the most interest anyone has had in a Knicks player in the past 10 years. #knicks #turkey
7. This past week, a homeless man helped a woman out of the L.A. River. As payment for his good deed, the woman agreed to read the homeless man’s script. #la #script
8. Families are accusing a Colorado mental health facility of holding patients for insurance money. The facility is calling the allegations false and claiming anyone making the claims should be institutionalized. #colorado
9. In Montana, a mountain lion has been seen near a school bus stop looking extremely full. #mountainlion
10. In California, mouse droppings were found in a student’s hot lunch. The school has claimed the addition of mouse droppings is the first of many changes to make the school lunch taste better. #schoollunch
11. A thief in Mississippi attempted to steal boxes of Chicken McNuggets from a McDonald’s, but changed his mind when he found out they ran Sweet ‘n Sour sauce. #mcdonalds #chickenmcnuggets
12. The Food and Drug Administration(FDA,) has five weeks until their money for approving new drugs runs out. The FDA is concerned that this may force people to use older, more researched, non-cancer causing medications. #fda #shutdown
13. Volkswagen will add 1,000 jobs at its plant in Tennessee. The job interview will require the applicant to sing country songs in German. #volkswagon #german
14. In Washington DC, the nonprofit company World Central Kitchen will be serving free meals daily to furloughed federal workers. The meals will consist of 3 pounds of government cheese. #Shutdown #worldcentralkitchen
The Birmingham Civil Rights Institute in Alabama rescinded an award for political activist Angela Davis after finding out she’s still being a political activist.
The monarch butterfly population in California has plummeted 86% this past year. The moth population in California is unknown because nobody cares about moths.
Disneyland raised prices ahead of the new Star Wars land opening, forcing parents everywhere to tell their kids, “This isn’t the family vacation you were looking for.”
In North Carolina, a man chased a woman into a karate studio. Which led to his blood getting waxed on and waxed off of his face.
A Philadelphia store owner gave away 89 prom dresses to families in need of an excuse to rent a limousine.
A new Massachusetts bill could protect state residents from identity theft. The bill will require residents to keep four leaf clovers in their socks.
Virginia police are investigating a possible meth lab on airport property. Police were called in after thousands of teeth were found on the airport runway.
The Milwaukee community area surprised a local bakery owner with a new car in hopes of no longer having deliveries of stale bread.
A 21-year-old Nebraska woman lost $3,000 after meeting a “sugar daddy” online and was left with a sour taste in her mouth.
An SUV that crashed into a Michigan home left a couple looking for a place to stay and a brand new Florida room.
In Las Vegas, foodies say they got scammed by a fake food festival called Captain Crab’s Crab Feed. Foodies stated that “This shrimp don’t add up and the festival organizers are full of carp.”
In Australia, more than 3,000 beach goers were stung by jelly fish. Ain’t that a beach!
Saudi women will now be notified of divorce by a text message to their phone. First driving, now divorce texts, next thing you know they’ll get to have opinions.
The annual AirlinesRating.com list of world’s safest airlines was released. Number three is All Nippon, number two is Quanta, and number one is Air Jordan.